WHO THIS POST IS FOR:
- Couples going through IVF
One of the worst things about IVF is the waiting. Life is dictated by dates. In between each set of dates all you can do it wait. This week I have struggled more than ever with the waiting.
I walked into 2016 a heck of a lot calmer about IVF. With each retrieval I took it as it came. I barely wept. I sat back, accepted my circumstances, went to my appointments and went about my day (for the most part). But this week took a toll on me.
This is THE WEEK. Any time now we find out our PGD results.This week is worse than the 2WW. These results will tell us wether or not we will ever have biological children. It will tell me if I will ever get the experience of being pregnant. It will tell us if we will ever get to experience 9 months of exciting anticipation.
In just one call everything could or could not change. It is eating away at me.
My husband and I have talked a lot about the waiting process in IVF and how its unlike any other circumstance we have expierienced in life. Each date that we wait for is a complete rollercoaster of emotions. Either you are thrilled or devastated, no in-between. The back and forth between polar opposites is wearing.
When I think of BIG life changing events that tend to devastate families, they usually happen within seconds. I have racked my brain to find scenarios that are tragic that require weeks of anticipation. I can only find a few, this is definitely on that list.
I wanted to write something funny, bold or empowering this week but I could not find the energy. It would have been disingenuous to write about working out or the best movies to watch during recovery because waiting has sucked all of my emotions out of my heart. I realize though that many of you are in this same boat. You too are waiting. You are in your 2WW, waiting to hear the news about donors, waiting to find out if you can move forward with your cycle, if your eggs are viable, and the list goes on. While it is still completely unfair to have to wait for ANY of this, know that you are not alone. We are waiting together.
Ps- I did stumble upon this fantastic designer who makes cards for women just like us! I wish everyone I knew has this on file because they are perfect. Check her out HERE.