WHO THIS POST IS FOR:
- My IVF comrade
- The general public who means well but says all the wrong things
We IVF sisters unfortunately encounter common comments over and over. After a while your ability to see the good in people starts to dwindle because you hear the same asinine comments on repeat. I can say with certainty that if you know someone going through IVF you need to follow a couple steps:
- Think “Will this response make ______ know I listened?” If the answer is no. DO NOT SAY IT.
- Only speak if you have something that is empathetic.
AVOID (in no particular order):
10.“I am friends with another couple who is going through IVF for XXX years and they were so happy for us when we got pregnant. You should be too.”
9. “If you try to adopt, I bet you’ll get pregnant.”
8.“When you start puking when your pregnant, you think why did I do this?”
7. “When your kids are running around your house, you think why did I do this?”
6. “Sleep as much as you can now because you wont be able to when you don’t have a kid.”
5. “I wish I could travel now, but thats over since we have kids.”
4. “It will happen when its supposed to happen.”
3. The obligatory “Just relax. It will happen.”
2. The obligatory “Just stay positive.”
1. Talking about your period or your pregnancy in terms of hormones like we have NO IDEA what hormones do or feel like.
I LOVE the friends and family guide from Resolve, I recommend emailing it to all of your friends and family as a guide to help them talk to you. It will help depersonalize it and let them know that there are some universal feelings that go into infertility.