The Tale of the Clueless Resident

WHO THIS POST IS FOR:

Everyone

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So there I am, laying with my feet in stir ups. My ultra sound tech had to run out of the room to double check something on my chart. The resident stood across the room silently,  I decided to fill the silence with noise.

I asked her how long she was working at the office and what her speciality was in. I explained my lining, the usual office chatter. She let me know she was going to work in high risk pregnancies and that she appreciated learning more about what she was seeing on the screen.

A few second of silent passed and then…“I wish I could be in your spot?” she said. “What do you mean?” I replied.

“You know, without kids.”

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Immediately my brain malfunctioned.  Is this really happening? Could she really be saying this? I started to believe I was in the twilight zone.

“I am here because my body is failing. I don’t think you want to be in my seat,” I say.

She continues, “Uh I am just so tired. I have 3 kids. I am just so fertile, I just couldn’t stop having them.”

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DEEP BREATHS, DEEP BREATHS

“Sounds like poor planning,” I say. “You did have the option of this thing called, birth control. You should have used it,” I state.

SILENCE//Subject switched.

When I left I began to process what had happened. Was this woman for real? Do I tell the doctor? ::BRAIN SPINNING::

I went home, started working and forgot about the whole thing until surgery. Upon waking up from the anesthesia I saw my doctor and decided to spill the beans. My husband said it went a little something like this:

“Doc, you know the resident? You need to have a chat with her.” I then went through the exchange. He was mortified.

Unfortunately I have heard stories like this from a number of women. Where on earth do people get the idea that saying they got pregnant easily or having kids is annoying would be comforting to women who are struggling to get pregnant? I can not comprehend where this break down in understanding occurs.

Now its a funny story, but WOWEEE at the time!

-ANNIE

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4 thoughts on “The Tale of the Clueless Resident

  1. It truly amazes me what people will say to you when they find out that you are having trouble conceiving. Even as far as to say, I don’t know what to tell you, I can barely look at my husband without getting pregnant. My response was, do you want a gold star or a cookie for that????? I usually respond to a ridiculous comment with something to the effect of, well people cant really control this type of thing, much like they cant control if they get cancer in most cases. This last part is usually a coup de grace in the conversation. Clueless, careless and a smidgen of rude, in my opinion but sometimes people do not really think before they speak. It does make for a good story later though.

    Like

  2. I’m glad you said something. Infertility is a painful disease, and for a medical practitioner to be one of the individuals furthering pain on the part of struggling patients, is atrocious. I’m sorry you had to deal with it, but on behalf of the women in the future she will be treating, bravo to you for speaking up. PS. Your pics were too perfect for the story!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I just kept thinking about how if I was her “high risk pregnancy” patient and she was this insensitive I dont know how I would manage. Hopefully she learned something :/

      Liked by 1 person

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