WHO THIS IS FOR:
- My comrades going through IVF or the adoption process
- Fertile people who post all over Facebook, all of the time.
Dear Pregnant Couples and Parents,
I am writing on behalf of my infertile friends and allies. I can say with the utmost certainty that your lackadaisical comments and behavior drives us mad. So instead of screaming I am going to bestow upon on you a few nuggets of wisdom and hope that you savor every word and let it marinate. This are not to say its not okay to have feelings, what I am saying though is you are privileged. Be aware of your privilege before typing away, while in line at Starbucks, at parties, etc.
STOP AND SAY THANK YOU
Making a baby required you to have sex, tough times. Following the birth of your children you post about how much your life sucks.
Next time your kid shits on the wall, or you haven’t slept all night, stop and look at your baby/kid and say thank you. Give him or her a kiss and appreciate you have the privilege to manage those new experiences.
You are sick because there is a living being in your body who is growing. You are beyond privileged. Say thank you to your belly each time you throw up. This may sound insane but I would do anything (and I am) to have that privilege and I know so many women who are in the same boat.
Next time you post about how much a kid costs, stop. Go into your kids room, take out a book, snuggle and read together. Having sex to create your kid was free. If finding a nanny is too much for you, we don’t want to hear about it. You didn’t have to put up 10s of thousands of dollars just to create your baby. Say thank you to your body.
If you feel the urge to vent, call a friend. Do not blast social media.
Think of it like this, if you had a friend with cancer or diabetes or any other health issue, would you post on Facebook about how tough it is to be healthy? Because infertility is so hush hush people don’t give infertility the same thoughtfulness. “Infertility is a disease that results in the abnormal functioning of the male or female reproductive system. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) and the World Health Organization (WHO) recognize infertility as a disease.” (Learn more here)
I beg of you to be more thoughtful. You have no idea who is crying when looking at their computer screen. I am just one of millions who are experiencing infertility, be aware of who and how you are impacting people.