TESTS & MEDS! What happens after the pregnancy test

WHO THIS POST IS FOR:

Folks with a BIG FAT POSITIVE (as they call it in the IVF world :)).

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Until May I had no idea what happened AFTER the infamous 2 week wait. Each and every time I got a call that said it didn’t work and that we needed to talk. However May 31st 2o16 was different. It was a Tuesday afternoon when our doctor called. Our doctor was deeply invested in our success by transfer #5 so him calling wasn’t a tell. Stephen and I were together when we picked up the phone. Dr. C let us know that we were indeed positive and not only that but our HCG levels were incredibly high, like off the charts high. He also let us know that the this was just the beginning of testing. We would need to return 2 days later and weekly to ensure that my levels continued to climb.

Thursday I went in for my second test. Wednesday was the most stressful day of my life. I called all of my IVF friends and asked them how they coped with the wait. I couldn’t believe that I would go into the doctor and everything would be fine. Nothing had gone right up until this point so why now would things run smoothly.

Thursday I found out that not only did my numbers double, they almost quadrupled. In fact, we were on the charts for twins!

BETA TEST TIMELINE: (This varies with each practice but from what I have read its pretty much some variation of this across the board)

Some things to note:

By the time you are moving into your ultrasound weeks, you are already 4-5 weeks pregnant. You can review your HCG chart HERE.

TEST #1 Pregnancy Test – Looks for HCG levels

TEST #2 HCG Test (2 days later— for me this was a Thursday). They check to make sure your HCG levels double

TEST #3 Blood Work and Ultra sound (the following week) – checking for the sac and embryo *** If things dont look great they may have you come back again a few days afterwards

Test #4 Ultra Sound– checking for the sac and embryo— happens the following week— this week we also heard a heartbeat.

At this point your doctor may release you. I was released at 7 weeks pregnant. This was an incredibly hard thing for me to handle. I didn’t feel completely safe going to a ob/gyno. For so long I trusted Dr. C with EVERYTHING, he knew my pain and struggle. I was able to get into my doctor at 9 weeks, which helped ease my anxiety a tad.

 

MEDS

Once you are pregnant the meds don’t go away. In fact, you stay on them for a long while. I had to continue taking my progesterone inserts and estrogen pills. My fertility doctor communicated with my gyno when he wanted me to end my meds which ended up being at 13 weeks, EESH! Every doctor releases patients at different times. My doctor’s mindset was: it took us forever to get here, lets not mess with anything (this also included no sex).

I know from my new fertility support group (one for folks who are pregnant) everyone ends meds at different times. I know also know from discussion being released from your meds can be terrifying. You rely on them to get you to pregnancy and then POOF you have to hope your body all of a sudden knows what to do and can handle the load. Its a scary process for sure.

I can say from my expierience that things went smoothly and I felt so much better after getting off my meds. Keep in mind, during your first trimester your body is going bananas naturally, add meds on top of it and WOOF, its a whole other layer of intensity.


In the coming weeks I will write about Post Traumatic Fertility Disorder, going to your gyno and more. Hope this was helpful!

 

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We are pregnant.

WHO THIS POST IS FOR: EVERYONE

Yesterday we told everyone (aka the world through social media)… we are pregnant. In fact, yesterday morning we cleared our 20 week ultrasound with flying colors. It’s still quite surreal/terrifying/exciting/holyshitthisishappening all at the same time, but for today, I am indeed pregnant and we are indeed  having a baby.

This blog is still important to me and I have wanted to post on here so many times. Once you get pregnant after IVF it doesn’t all disappear. The trauma, the pain, the nerves, they are real and still present. More over, when we did learn we were pregnant I once again felt alone because all of the resources for expecting moms didn’t match my story. They noted you would go to the doctor for the first time around week 9. They gave you cute ways to tell your husband that you were pregnant. They explained how babies are made. It didn’t mean anything to me, I didn’t relate.

The posts I hope to write over the next few months will follow suit to my other posts. They will explain what the heck happens when you DO get pregnant. Weeks 4-9 aren’t the “typical” pregnant experience and I really wished I had a book or app to tell me what to expect. Now, I know what to expect and hope to help those who are transitioning into the pregnant world!

But before I get ahead of myself, how did this happen?! Here’s what went down on transfer #5.

If you recall the last procedure I had was an ERA test. The results were supposed to take a week. However, mine took longer which turned into a stressful mess.  The Monday before my procedure (slated for that Thursday) the doctor called and notified that the lab sent the wrong results. I did indeed need an extra 18 hours of progesterone. Luckily we were able to schedule my procedure for Friday morning.

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So what was different?

First, I was on my meds for a longer period of time. This is probably the singular most important fact. I did indeed fall within that insanely small percentage of people who needed a little extra time to bake.

We transferred two embryos, both were genetically tested. Both were high grade, top of the line embryos. For a hot minute we thought both took because my hormone levels were off the charts.

During my 5th transfer I asked for a muscle relaxer. While it didn’t actually relax me it did make me super tired. I think this was helpful because I could barely stay awake. Instead of focusing on needing to pee, I passed out. I was much calmer. I went on vacation with my friends that afternoon and seriously took it easy that weekend. We ate crappy food, laid on the couch, made friendship bracelets, watched reality tv and laughed our booties off.

Did I eat the pineapple? Of course I did. But did I also eat pure garbage and grease. HECK YES.

During my two week wait I tried not to think about it. In fact I said to Stephen the Thursday following my transfer, “I know that if this doesn’t work and we can’t have a baby, we gave it our all.” I was at peace. In my gut though, I knew something was different. Before I get my period I always get intense vaginal pain (doctor still thinks I have endometriosis and wants me to get it checked out after the baby comes). This time, I didn’t have any pain. I didn’t want to read too much into it BUT it didn’t fail me.

The Monday night before I found out, I was exhausted and passed out at 8:00 p.m. Something was up.

The next day we got our results around 4:00pm (waited all day) and we couldn’t believe it. A slew of procedural practices took place in the following weeks.

Perks of IVF

  • I love that I know the exact date our baby was conceived and the exact moment he entered the womb. My due date (while I know it doesn’t mean much) is ridiculously accurate. It is 40 weeks to the minute!
  • I love that I have a picture our of baby as an embryo, pretty special and most people don’t have that.
  • Having paid a pretty penny paid off. Genetic testing is still breaking our bank BUT it did give us a huge piece of mind about our chances of miscarriage. While I still had anxiety, it did help ease my mind until we got to the 12 week point.
  • I loved getting to hear his heart beat every week. I knew things were humming along perfectly, it was great for my anxiety.

I still follow the posts of those of you who are still struggling through procedures. I still feel your pain and am with you in spirit!

Posts to come:

  • Beta tests and blood work: the tests to find out if you are pregnant
  • Ultrasounds at your IVF doctor
  • Being released to your gyno
  • First gyno visit as a normal civilian!
  • Meds while pregnant: the good, the bad and the ugly
  • Overcoming the fear of actually being pregnant
  • Support groups for expectant moms that went through IVF

 

 

 

#StartAsking

WHO THIS POST IS FOR:

EVERYONE YOU KNOW.

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April 24th- 30th is National Infertility Awareness Week, but let’s get ahead and #startasking now! That’s right, there is a whole month dedicated to educating the masses and holy moly, the masses need it. According to the CDC 12% of women between the ages of 14-44 are  struggle with infertility, thats an insane amount of people. For something that is so far reaching, we need to engage in more dialogue so that we can create a supportive community that fosters positivity so that this horrific process can be a touch better.

I have met countless couples who tell me that they suffered alone for so long. Their friends, their family, colleagues had NO IDEA what they were going through. I can’t imagine living my life without people knowing because infertility consumes your entire being. I am not 100% myself most of the time and for me I need folks to know what is going on so that my behavior or physical state is understood.

But  I digress, so many people keep it a secret because infertility is not discussed in the public space and thus it makes is shameful. Women are often made to feel it is their fault, providing little space to feel comfortable sharing their circumstance. For men, our culture of masculinity confines them to a box that says, “Man+ sperm + “spreading your seed”= MANLY.” Heck, one time I was chatting with someone who I know quite well and is pregnant, and she said, “He feels like a man,” when I asked her how her husband felt about the news of her pregnancy.  

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

Advocate for Legislation

Help ensure legislation passes that protects infertile couples and ensures states require insurance cover treatment. Check out the current pieces of legislation out there and learn what representatives are sponsoring what bills HERE.

Empathize

I write about this a lot but I can not emphasize it enough. If you learn a friend is going through treatment do NOT say, “Oh I know someone who went through IVF, they are pregnant now, it will all work out.” While its great you want to show support and try to provide hope, your friends experience is just that, their experience. We don’t want to hear about it, we just want someone to listen and recognize our own struggle.

Join a support group

Resolve has a great list of groups access the country, find one and join. Having a community that truly understands your feelings and thoughts is invaluable.

#StartAsking

Resolve is hosting a campaign this week to get folks engaging in dialogue around infertility awareness. With infertility comes a slew of questions from “How is this fair?” to “Does my insurance cover this?” to “Where do I start with adoption?” When we ask these questions alone, they begin to eat away at you. When we ask these as a collective, we receive a robust compilation of answers to sift through. While the answers may not always be what we want to hear and they don’t always change your situation, knowledge is power and having an ounce of power during a time when you are utterly powerless is sacred.

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-Annie

Chrissy Teigen is having a girl!

WHO THIS IS FOR:

  • Annoyed IVF patients
  • The general public

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Yesterday on Facebook my trending section notified me that Chrissy Teigen decided to have a girl through genetic testing. The internet exploded, minds were blown, people were pissed.

I am not a Chrissy Teigen fan, in fact all I know about her is that she is married to John Legend and dances awkwardly on that show where people lip sync. I do however know that she and John had to go through IVF. I don’t know why she went through IVF but the reason is irrelevant. She was poked and prodded. I also know that she is one of the few women in media who talk about it and thus I have a lot of respect for her.

I am grabbing my soap box and delivering a message. A message that needs to be said. To all of you who are outwardly judging her or quietly whispering, suck it. Yes, if you genetically test your embryos you are given the choice to select the gender. We were given that option and opted out because it would make it too emotional. Even though we opted out I say good for her.

When you pay thousands of dollars, put your body through war, you get the “option” to pick the gender. Im OH SO SORRY to everyone who was unable to pick the sex of their baby because they were  conceived without assistance. Cry me a river. You kept money in your pocket, took your condom off and had sex, tough times.

When you go through IVF or adoption for that matter, you give up and loose A LOT. You grieve the loss of your body’s ability to function. You grieve that you will never have a kid naturally. You grieve that you may never be pregnant and get the joy of carrying a baby inside of you. You grieve that the way you may become pregnant is by 5 people starring inside your vagina as they put an embryo or two or four in you, your insides hurt, and all you can do is hope you don’t pee on the doctor from your bladder being so full. You grieve the loss of having any sort of a normal sex life with your partner because for weeks on end you are not allowed to be touched.

Picking the gender of the baby is just a small, tiny, minuscule, consolation for the loss you deal with. If you think its weird, take your judgement elsewhere. You don’t have that choice because you don’t need to make that choice. (INSERT WHAT I WANT TO SAY HERE) Stop.

 

-Annie